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Celebrating July 4th with 76 Blockbuster Coffee Movies In Waiting

Can't you just see Joaquin Phoenix starring in a remake of Fatal Exctraction?

Can’t you just see Joaquin Phoenix starring in a remake of Fatal Extraction? Latte art and photo by Mike Breach for Illy.

Recent years have seen a steady stream of beautiful and noteworthy films about coffee. From breathtaking documentaries such as “A Film About Coffee” to artful promotional shorts like “The Film About GreatCoffee” to expertly polished YouTube instructionals such as those posted by ChefSteps and plenty of roasters and retailers, watchable content on the subject of specialty coffee seems to be enjoying a golden era.

And yet, where’s the razzle-dazzle? The non-stop thrill-ride, the tear-jerking sob-fest, the potty-mouthed coming-of-age gut-buster?

It’s Fourth of July weekend here in the USA, and that means several things: Fireworks and barbeque, maybe some camping, and for a certain kind of American consumer, at least a couple hours’ refuge from this season’s record heat in blissfully over-air-conditioned multiplex darkness, passively steeping in the spectacle of one Hollywood CGI bonanza or another.

With that in mind, we present a whopping 76 coffee blockbusters that have yet to fill the silver screen. If you have to ask “Why 76?” you may need to check your patriotic pulse.

Got a few of your own? Add them in the comments. Happy 4th!

The Conicals of Narnia

Dialed In for Murder

Avengers: Age of Agtron

Harold and Modbar

I Know What You PID Last Summer

Oh Breville, Where Art Thou?

Y Tu Crema Tambien

Cremalins

Flat Whites Can’t Jump

Artificial Intelligentsia

Bunn Lola Bunn

JoeGlo vs the Volcano

Milling Them Softly

Throw Mama from the Training Lab

The Zassenhaus Rules

Stumptown and Z-boys

28 Seconds Later

Lord of the Rings: The Brew Towers

Romancing the Destoner

Bar Wars (or, Star Pours?)

Episode I: The Phantom Chemex

Episode II: Attack of the Cones

Episode III: Revenge of the Sivitz

Episode IV: A Brew Hope

Episode V: The Empire Likes Black

Episode VI: Return of the Red Eye

Episode VII: The Coarse Oaxacans

Chaff Baked

Cherry Maguire

Erin Knockboxovich

War of the Rosettas

Batch to the Future

Probat and Frank

Portafilter Activity

Tipping Private Ryan

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Grind

Donnie Darkroast

Bunn-Hur

B for Blendetta

Das Brewt

The Shawshank Extraction

To Kill A Macchiatobird

12 Angry Blends

Aeropress One

Citizen Kone

New Jack Full City

Barton Finca

The Mandheling Limited

Monsooned Kingdom

Raging Pull

Four Blooms

The Seven Sidamorai

Bezzera in da Hood

Jacob’s Lever

Olympia Has Fallen

For a Few Dollars Behmor

Hot Top Time Machine

Let the Right Drum Spin

Bill & Ted’s Cup of Excellence

Little Shop of Harar

Trier in the Sky

Turkish 182

Pan’s Cupping Labyrinth

Demitasse Liaisons

The Karate PID

Inglourious Mazzers

Yemen in Black

Look Who’s Tamping

A Fish Called Rwanda

I’m Gonna Git Sumatra

Bean On Me

Delonghi Kiss Goodnight

The Amityville Pourover

Steam a Little Steam

The 36th Tamper of Shaolin

Good Will Cupping

The English Parchment

Comment

4 Comments

@Normanito1

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